At The Movies With Javid #33

You’ve probably guessed from the complete lack of movie reviews in recent times that I haven’t been to the cinema in ages. Let’s face it – with Netflix, Stan (and yes, even sooky Presto) and the wonderful world of torrents – who the hell needs to?

For some reason, I did.

The Conjuring 2: The Enfield Poltergeist

"Sorry Padre, take off my what?"

“Sorry father, take off my what?”

Some pretext: I dismissed this franchise as the usual popular horror jump-scare-and-not-much-else fest that most successful horror movies seem to be, without even viewing it. Then I watched the first one – on my couch, alone, in the dark, with headphones on and slightly drunk (the way I view most scary movies these days). It was an immersive experience that brought feelings of excitement, dread, fear and joy all in one. It was great. I changed my mind about the franchise that instant. The first Conjuring film is good.

Before attending this movie, at the cinema, on opening weekend (a STUPID idea in hindsight), I spent time trying to remember the last time I witnessed a ‘horror’ film in a movie theatre. Continue reading


NETFLIX AND JAVID #6 – F Is For Family

fisLike the last few seasons of The Simpsons, a Netflix program being animated doesn’t necessarily qualify it as a comedy. Bojack Horseman, while full of funny moments, edges far closer to drama than comedy half the time.

Coming from a comedian who is as overtly cynical (but still hilarious) as Bill Burr, perhaps I should have expected the same from F is for Family. Watching his stand-up you note that he’s not someone who necessarily hates life but hates what society has become and the way people are, and he’s not shy to admit it. Do you have to know Burr and his take on life to appreciate the show? Not necessarily, but I think it helps. Continue reading

At The Movies With Javid #32 – The Hateful Eight

jacksonCompared to the enormity of Quentin Tarantino’s most recent projects Django Unchained and Inglorious Basterds, the premise of The Hateful Eight seems consciously constrained by comparison. Eight people spending the night in ‘Minnie’s Habedashery’ – a quaint little cabin out in the sticks – to take shelter from a worsening blizzard.

That’s one of the most prominent features of The Hateful Eight; gone are the expansive settings, ensemble casts and show-stealing Christoph Waltz that have featured heavily in Tarantino’s last two epics – although we do see the return of frequent Tarantino crew members Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Madsen and Tim Roth. Continue reading

2015: A New Start

anustartThat’s right, 12 months have passed and it’s time for another one of those blogs where I summarise the last year. Unlike last year, I guarantee I won’t be going off on a needless rant. It will be (hopefully) short and (hopefully) sweet because while the year hasn’t been without its stresses and frustrations, it’s been far too amazing to let them detract from the positives. 2015 was a huge year for change, and while 2014 wasn’t entirely appalling, it looks and smells like a dog’s dinner by comparison. Continue reading

At The Movies With Javid #31 – Star Wars: The Force Awakens

bbeI’ve never considered myself ‘invested’ in the Star Wars franchise. I can accept that the first three (episodes IV-VI) are good films as much as I can accept that the second three (episodes I-III) are, for the most part, CGI-laden pieces of tripe designed to cash in on a much beloved franchise with low-quality acting (or at least writing).

With that in mind I wasn’t expecting a whole lot from Episode VII: The Force Awakens. There’s no doubt Disney were aware that another bad film would destroy a beloved franchise, and with that in mind they set out with a clear picture of what not to do, but did they actually make a good picture?

The short answer is yes, but I can’t help thinking that the simple fact that The Force Awakens isn’t shit and the palpable relief from obsessive fans that followed due to that fact gives the film a far higher rating than it deserves. Continue reading

NETFLIX AND JAVID #5 – American Horror Story


Season 1: Murder House

This show isn’t new (Seasons 1-3 – the only ones available on Australian Netflix – aren’t anyway), but I warned you that at times this wouldn’t be particularly current.

I’m always up for a scare, but being with someone who doesn’t like horror movies limits my opportunities to indulge in the genre. Seeing American Horror Story on the Netflix menu presented me with said opportunity – 40 minute-ish episodes? Perfect. No idea of what to expect despite the show having existed for a while? Even better!

Skimming through Google to learn whether or not it was worth investing my time in, I was confused to discover that the show had been created by the people who made Glee, and while I’ve never seen that show either, I wondered just how much of a horror story it could be if that was the case. I also came across review aggregation sites that praised the show, so I thought ‘why not?’ and got straight into Season 1: Murder House.

That’s an enjoyable aspect of the show – each season is its own complete tale, and watching one doesn’t affect the story or require watching of any of the others. Still, it’s probably good to watch them in order anyway, and I’ll explain why. Continue reading

Bacon Bits

miss-piggyWhat seems like an eternity ago, some friends who were familiar with my love of bacon gave me a unique present. Instead of simply plying me with rashers of processed pig (gourmet or not, I’ll friggen eat it), they went outside the box and decided to give me a bunch of bacon-flavoured substitutes. It was a great idea that I appreciated at the time, but I can’t help wondering if the idea was better before I opened them.

LET’S FIND OUT! Continue reading