You’re staring at my neck again

stare

Few people know Trudeau also has an eye-catching birthmark on his neck

We all have physical features, good or bad, that are unique and we subconsciously forget about from time to time. Some of them are visible, some of them are not.

I have a massive head, but most people don’t seem to notice until I try to wear a hat. Hats don’t fit me, despite their misleading ‘one size fits all’ claim. In high school my old man custom-made extra clips at the back of my school-issued cap because we were forced to wear them – much to the amusement of my friends. Even then it still left a big red ring around my head. That was back in 1997 so god knows how much bigger it is now.

I also have a dimple when I smile that is allegedly adorable, but being a heavily bearded man I haven’t seen it in years.

There’s one thing, though, that I often do forget about. It’s a birthmark on the right side of my neck, and it’s quite large. I’m not complaining, I’m aware of – and have also seen – people with far larger and more dominant birthmarks. Continue reading

ON FATHERHOOD #1 – What Goes In…

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None of these are my children

Those of you who read this blog regularly (all three of you) will know that halfway through last year I became a father. Surprisingly it’s taken nearly six months to write a blog about it, when I’ve been more than happy to rant about pricks on trains and the latest things I’ve seen on Netflix in the meantime. I guess I figured there were enough Dad Blogs out there already.

Henry (my son) and the entire act of parenting is a mind-blowing experience. I’ve learned a lot about life and myself, and in these semi-regular segments I’ll share some of these lessons (if you can call them that) with you in a (hopefully) more engaging way than the multitude of sites out there that think having ‘mum’ in the URL makes them a legitimate source of information (but more about them another time).

Let’s begin; Continue reading

2015: A New Start

anustartThat’s right, 12 months have passed and it’s time for another one of those blogs where I summarise the last year. Unlike last year, I guarantee I won’t be going off on a needless rant. It will be (hopefully) short and (hopefully) sweet because while the year hasn’t been without its stresses and frustrations, it’s been far too amazing to let them detract from the positives. 2015 was a huge year for change, and while 2014 wasn’t entirely appalling, it looks and smells like a dog’s dinner by comparison. Continue reading

NETFLIX AND JAVID #3 – Master of None

masterI like Aziz Ansari. I was a fan of his performance as the irritating but amusing Tom Haverford on Parks and Rec and his stand-up specials, available on Netflix, are highly enjoyable. He’s a great comedian for audiences entering their 30’s, and his astute observations on the common themes in that stage in life (settling down, having babies [or not], the mystery of what to do with life, comprehending our ingratitude towards a generation that gave up a lot so that we could be the people we are, AND MORE) resonated with me, but that’s probably because this year I turned 30 and became a dad.

I was unsure what to expect with Master of None. Ansari is a talented comic actor, but it was hard to guess if he’d be a strong enough lead to sustain an entire show.

It’s the tale of Dev, a single man in his early 30’s trying to navigate everyday life in New York while juggling relationships, family, friends and work. Reading that back, it doesn’t sound like anything special, does it? Didn’t Friends have that times six? Continue reading

Out In The Amber

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On Sunday I had the joy of going out and watching a gig for the first time in what felt like years. The music (supplied by Brazilian metal gods Sepultura) took me back to my aggressive teenage days – but there was something else that happened that took me back to practically every single gig I’ve been to. Perhaps you can relate.

This gave me an idea for another of my classic poems, which from conception to completion took all of 15 minutes. I wonder if any of the classic poets and literary greats had the intentional ease and dazzling skill that I do… hmmm. Anyway. Continue reading

Life Stories: Head Banging

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It’s time for another trip down memory lane (or not-so memory lane as the case may be).

I’ve always had a big head – and I’m not talking about an ego problem (although that comes and goes), I mean literally. Hats don’t fit me. In High School my Dad actually had to custom-make an extension for the back of my hat when the school I went to made them mandatory during lunchtimes.

Apart from that, it’s never really caused me any problems, and I doubt the following stories have anything to do with the size of it, but I’m now going to share with you what I remember from times I’ve hit this very large head, very, very hard in the past. Continue reading

Life Stories: Splitsville ’91

It’s been a quiet few days, and for that I apologise – but at least being out of action sick for a while has given me the inspiration for something to write about. Come with me now as I take you back in time to the first time in my life I can ever actually recall being ill.

You don't want to see the 'after' shot..

You don’t want to see the ‘after’ shot..

The year was 1991…

I was six years-old and in the first grade, my whole life ahead of me. I enjoyed school, I had a lot of friends with whom I would hang out, while we’d play handball (I believe that’s foursquare to Americans – and we’d play it with a tennis ball not whatever giant crap you guys use) or footy or soccer or cricket or just generally run about like louts.

The Australian summer can be a hot time, but that didn’t seem to stop my generation of Australian kids from embracing the sun and heat (these days they’d probably be worried about the glare on their phone screens – God I sound like an old man). After heading over to the canteen and wolfing down a Raspberry ‘Split’ Ice cream to cool down we were off through the playground again. Continue reading