‘That’s the last time I take acid before using Google maps’
On my walk home from the train station the other day I passed through a nearby park, as I do every evening. It’s normally dark at the time I’m making this journey, and the park is so poorly lit that it’s practically pitch black, even just after 6pm.
Previously, I’ve seen a person urinating, I’ve seen a guy presumably passed out (but possibly dead) against a fence, and I’ve also seen teens making out on the play equipment. What these people have in common is the preference for darkness and the anonymity it creates, and I’m always fine to leave them to their activities, marching on and listening to music as I think about what’s for dinner, and why it’s not always tacos.
So you can imagine my surprise when I happened across what looked like the disembodied head of an Asian girl about 14 years old standing in the middle of the darkness. What the fuck was she doing other than being terrifying? Why was she unsupervised in an unlit park at night? Was she a ghost? Was she doing a Peter Dutton impersonation?
No. It turns out her face was lit up by her phone screen, as nearly all kids faces are these days, and she was wandering around, completely oblivious to me, looking for something. I let her be. Continue reading
As TPG continue the long, slow drag of their nuts across my face, I bring you another sporadic blog in these times of lean bandwidth.
Big Hero 6 (2014)
There’s a lot about this film that screams ‘IT’S A KID’S MOVIE WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?’ – particularly the bright colours, heartfelt storyline laden with morals and the undeniably adorable BayMax – he’s like the Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters without the sinister edge and plentiful white goop inside him… (wait…)
But there’s far more to it than that. Perhaps I’ve been too dismissive of a lot of these films in the past – although in my defence a lot of them are SHIT. Big Hero 6, though, is not. Continue reading
If you don’t know what the hell a Muppet is I refer you to Homer’s quote from Simpsons episode S07E19 ‘A Fish Called Selma’
“Dad, what’s a muppet?
“Well, it’s not quite a mop and it’s not quite a puppet but man.. HAHAHA… so to answer your question I don’t know”
Whatever the hell they are, I love the freaking Muppets. I’m pretty sure that ‘Muppets Most Wanted’ is one of the best movies to come out this year but unfortunately I saw it long before I started writing my critically-acclamed reviews.
So over the last 2 weekends I’ve had the pleasure of going back to where it all began. When adults were for some reason supportive of the Muppet community without (to my knowledge) the aid of hallucinogenic substances. Continue reading