Pokemon Go and get stuffed

3dp_pokemongo_gameplay

‘That’s the last time I take acid before using Google maps’

On my walk home from the train station the other day I passed through a nearby park, as I do every evening. It’s normally dark at the time I’m making this journey, and the park is so poorly lit that it’s practically pitch black, even just after 6pm.

Previously, I’ve seen a person urinating, I’ve seen a guy presumably passed out (but possibly dead) against a fence, and I’ve also seen teens making out on the play equipment. What these people have in common is the preference for darkness and the anonymity it creates, and I’m always fine to leave them to their activities, marching on and listening to music as I think about what’s for dinner, and why it’s not always tacos.

So you can imagine my surprise when I happened across what looked like the disembodied head of an Asian girl about 14 years old standing in the middle of the darkness. What the fuck was she doing other than being terrifying? Why was she unsupervised in an unlit park at night? Was she a ghost? Was she doing a Peter Dutton impersonation?

No. It turns out her face was lit up by her phone screen, as nearly all kids faces are these days, and she was wandering around, completely oblivious to me, looking for something. I let her be. Continue reading

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Trying To Flick The Bean

coffee-beansAS most of you are probably aware (mainly because I won’t shut up about it), this year saw me say goodbye to my long-term relationship with cigarettes.

In the lead up to it I wondered how and if I’d be able to maintain the things I enjoyed with a cigarette, in particular COFFEE.

It was surprisingly easy. Even now, with no desire to have a cigarette, I CANNOT deny the heavenly way the brown liquid and the slightly lighter-brown, heavily processed plant compliment each other, as I’m sure hundreds of thousands of people can testify. Continue reading