At The Movies With Javid #16

It’s been a while, so let’s get straight into it!

22 Jump Street (2014)

I honestly didn’t mind the first one of these. For a reboot of a show I’d never bothered to watch it was funny enough to keep me entertained for the duration but THAT DOESN’T MEAN I WANT TO WATCH ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME MOVIE WITH THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BEING THE FACT THAT THEY’RE NOT FITTING INTO COLLEGE INSTEAD OF NOT FITTING IN TO HIGH SCHOOL!

And that’s the problem with this movie, for me. Unless you’re Michael Bay, you don’t need to go on making endless sequels UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING MORE TO SAY. This movie does not.

Exactly

Exactly

Does the fact that, throughout the movie they all (particularly Ice Cube) OPENLY REFER TO THE FACT THAT THE STUDIO GAVE THEM A SHITLOAD OF MONEY TO ESSENTIALLY MAKE THE SAME MOVIE make it ok? NO, IT DOESN’T!

giphy

It’s like the actors are openly admitting it’s shit and they’re trying to remove themselves from accountability for it – when they all could have said ‘nah’. Is Jonah Hill really that desperate for money? I find it hard to believe. He’s actually becoming quite a good actor (well, I thought so after The Wolf of Wall Street, anyway) but he’ll never shake that image of a jock who appears in stoner comedies if he DOESN’T STOP APPEARING IN THEM.

Does Channing Tatum really need to bother wasting himself on comedy? Range, schmange – I’m sure there are plenty of people out there willing to pay him to star in action movies and take his shirt off, so why did HE need to make this sequel?

There are funny moments, sure – and perhaps the best of them is at the very end when they do short trailers for the next 15 Jump Streets (in ANOTHER reference to MILKING IT TO DEATH), but you can’t help but feel you were duped into watching the same movie twice.

Still, it was better than Transformers. 4/10

Automata (2014)

It’s 2044, and solar flares and weather trauma have reduced the earth’s human population approximately 99% or something. There aren’t many of us left – but ANTONIO BANDERAS IS. Thank goodness.

Even 'Short Circuit' had a better robot budget

Even ‘Short Circuit’ had a better robot budget

I could go to lengths to explain this movie, but I’ll try and keep it brief. We’ve developed robots who follow two laws, they can’t harm humans and they can’t repair themselves. So they start repairing themselves. Antonio Banderas works in insurance, somehow gets involved. All of a sudden people are trying to kill him and robots are trying to save him, but people are trying to kill robots who used to work for the people to keep other people out.

Brief. Confused? If the answer is yes I’ll guarantee you probably still will be if you watch it.

This movie, like many others, does pose many interesting questions and starts developing themes that are worth probing, but then doesn’t answer the questions and wanders away from the themes like some robots towing Antonio Banderas through the radioactive desert. Evolution, social inequality, love and marriage, paternity, humanity, the way we use technology, global warming, they’re all there and all as half-baked as each other.

The ending is appalling and confusing enough in its own right. If you still think I might be off the mark and are considering watching this film, my advice is to go and watch I, Robot instead. You’ll thank me. 4/10 

Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

While Automata wasn’t supposed to confuse me but did, Edge of Tomorrow was always going to confuse me, even if I wasn’t a bit baked (but I was so it’s alright). It’s like Groundhog Day with Tom Cruise instead of Bill Murray and some particularly vicious aliens instead of Groundhogs and… well… I haven’t seen Groundhog’s Day to be completely honest, even though it is played ad infinitum on Channel 10.

Anyway, I’m distracting myself. Damn you Bill Murray!

Tell me that doesn’t sound confusing.

Tom Cruise gets to play the real life computer game that is dying and then respawning in exactly the same spot and having to do things all over again. Unfortunately (and no doubt annoyingly) for Cruise’s character THERE ARE NO SAVE POINTS – SO EVEN IF YOU GET TO THE FINAL BOSS AND YOU DIE YOU HAVE TO START THE WHOLE FUCKING THING ALL OVER AGAIN!

Thankfully the director saves us the tedium of going through everything after the third time. Turns out a war hero from the last major battle also had that power but lost it, and the two of them have to meet and trust each other over and over again, they have to fight the aliens over and over again, but somehow this film still moves with pace – and for that I am grateful to the producers and writers.

In one particular farmhouse scene it dawns on you just how many times Cruise’s character had to go through everything, but then I started wondering what it would be like to have to live through such an ordeal and missed a few things.

For a pretty complex idea that could have gone wrong in many places, Edge of Tomorrow actually holds it together, and holds your attention, for a long enough period. Unfortunately, though, you get so caught up in the technical aspect of the storytelling that the relatively simple, straightforward ending is entirely disappointing and underwhelming. Then I did some Google-ing and it turns out THAT’S NOT EVEN HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO END!

I understand that some changes need to be made in cinematic book adaptations but from what I’ve read, the book’s ending would have been not only do-able but would have made more sense. Of course, then it wouldn’t have the love story aspect that is of little consequence throughout the whole thing. Until about 5 minutes from the end, this was a really good movie, but 5 minutes is a long time 7/10

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