Spring Is An Asshole (A Short Poem)

To me, this is far more terrifying than ebola.

To me, this is far more terrifying than ebola.

A quick ode to spring time. I know my poetic stylings are greatly appreciated. What’s that you say? The next Banjo Patterson? I hardly think so but thanks…

I wake up in the morn’
With thoughts of things I have to do
But before I even start them
I’m interrupted by a ‘choo

I get out of the shower
To put on my pants and shoes
But before I’ve got my socks on
I’m interrupted by a ‘choo 

I make it to the station
And the crowds I wander through
Hoping I’m not caught off guard
And armed with a tissue

The doors close and it’s jam-packed
There isn’t room to move
I’m face to face with strangers
How ya goin? I’m a ‘choo! 

Oh shit I am so sorry
I’ve just covered you in goo
But unless you want some more
I’d get out of the… a ‘choo! 

People enjoy springtime
And the loving that ensues
But me? I fucking hate it
And I’ll tell you why – a ‘choo 

So wake me up in summer,
When it’s time for… a’choo
So wake me up in summer,
When its… a ‘choo
So wake me up in A ‘CHOO
So A ‘CHOO!!

Sigh.

The end. You’re welcome.

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