Why I Love Berlin

Back in 2010 standing like a douche was in style. And yes, that's me.

Back in 2010 standing like a douche was in style. And yes, that’s me.

A few weeks ago I posted on social media about how much I missed and desired to return to what I believe is one of the greatest cities in the world – Berlin. Instead of everyone agreeing with me as they always do and going “yeah Dave, you’re right” (preferably while patting me on the back and pouring me a scotch) – I was actually asked why I like it.

I responded by saying that I would write a blog, so here it is. Continue reading

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At The Movies With Javid #06

"A lion on my head? I'm not falling for that one again!"

“A lion on my head? I’m not falling for that one again!”

I love Greek mythology – even though studying it for a semester at Uni nearly killed my interest in the subject whatsoever. The Illiad, the Odyssey, if there’s a far-too-long Greek poem about someone’s journey against adversity, the Gods and giant beasts I’ve probably read it and enjoyed it.

When I’m in the movies and I see a trailer that features Hercules facing off against the Nemean Lion and the Erymanthian Boar, I assume that the movie is going to focus on the legend we all know and love – the 12 Labors of Hercules. I could even look past the fact that they’d selected the Rock to do it, provided they stayed remotely true to the story and it wasn’t clichéd nonsense.

You might think that putting a modern day ‘wrestler’ into the role of Ancient Greece’s most notorious hero in a 2014 Hollywood film is a recipe for disaster – but it turns out director Brett Ratner didn’t even open the fucking cookbook! Continue reading

Jaywalking: The Ballad Of A Criminal

Chicken crossing the road2The other day, for the first time in my life, I was issued a fine by the Police. I’ve never been (caught) speeding, I’ve never been charged with anything. Sure I’ve had a parking ticket or two in the past but I pay them duly if not reluctantly.

So what was my offence? Public littering? Driving violation? Spitting? Public nudity? No. It was fucking jaywalking. Crossing the road when the traffic light was red (even though it was ridiculously safe to do so).  Continue reading

At The Movies With Javid #05

An amazingly relaxing weekend and a slightly hungover Sunday mean there are some new films that have suffered the wrath of my acerbic wit! 90’s marathon, BEGIN!

TWISTER (1996) 

Director Jan de Bont actually wrote the dialogue in the sky for reference..

Director Jan de Bont actually wrote the dialogue in the sky for reference..

I haven’t seen this movie since about 1996 and, whilst I remembered enjoying it the first time, I had a high level of trepidation about the foray down memory lane. Instead I was taken on a wonderfully nostalgic thrill ride as Helen Hunt chases down the Tornado that killed her Dad way back because he held on to a door that didn’t need to be held, like a moron. What follows is a whole bunch of moronic decisions made by Helen Hunt – because the best way to make sure something horrific like that never happens again is to keep driving STRAIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE OF TORNADOES. Sheesh. Continue reading

Did Tony Abbott Shoot Down MH17?

"Bang Bang, bitches"

“Bang Bang, bitches”

The tragic events of this week, which saw Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 shot down over the Russia-Ukraine border, killing 298 people, should not be undermined. It’s tragic, there’s no understating that. Despite the clickbait headline and the image caption, I’m not here to make fun.

It raises plenty of questions, too – such as why a plane would fly over a well-advertised conflict zone despite warnings being distributed as recently as that day, why Malaysia Air are having the worst airline PR year in history, and of course – who fired the shot?

Do I think Tony Abbott had anything to do with it? HA! Don’t be so stupid. If you clicked the link in hope of an answer of ‘yes’ then you’re a fucking idiot, but thanks for visiting.

I appreciate the ability many people in Western society have developed to question the news, and understand that just because something is printed doesn’t make it fact. While distrust isn’t a great thing to foster, it’s a handy attribute to have – to a point. Continue reading

At The Movies With Javid #04

"Seriously brah?"

“Seriously brah?”

It’s that time again…

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

I never saw the original Planet of the Apes, but thanks to the Simpsons and a multitude of other shows I know about what happens. After the travesty that was Transformers 4 the other week I was really looking forward to this. Would I be disappointed?

Following on from the previous film, the Simian Flu has been around for 10 years now, many humans are dead and forced into subsistence living, and high in the San Francisco mountains Ceasar and his ape comrades are forging a strong society, based on wonderful values such as ‘Ape shall not kill ape’ (Orwell would be suing) and having families, communicating well with sign language and minimal English. In a conversation the apes talk of the humans, whose numbers are thinning and who haven’t been seen in at least 2 years.  Continue reading

The 30-Day Ab Challenge: A Reflection

ab-workoutLast week I celebrated the completion of the 30-Day Ab Challenge. If you’re considering whether or not to give it a go, wondering what the hell it even is or have finished it yourself and want to hear someone else’s view, here’s my experience, shared in a heartfelt interview… with myself.

So why did you decide to do the 30 day ab challenge?

I like to exercise, but I’m not an ardent enthusiast who sticks to a daily regime. Of course this means that after a spurt of a week or two of embracing the notion of regular exercise, I end up back at square one. Binge eating Nutella on the sofa at 10pm and thinking that tomorrow is the day I’ll exercise again, until something else comes along. Continue reading